And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She said her name was "party"
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
