Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
