Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
