It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
