i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I think my moral compass just broke
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