Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
