I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
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We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
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I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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