I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Come see our sink grown plant.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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