Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize