I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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