One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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