Porn is love you can see.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
