Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
