yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize