He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
