Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
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Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
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The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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