You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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