its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
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