So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
