please come you make the beer taste better
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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