Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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