They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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