My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
