I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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