Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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