theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
