So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
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