My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
