called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize