dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
