It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
