"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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