Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
