I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
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im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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