Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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