Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
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