Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
