i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I want her autograph on my taint
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
