so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We had sex on a dog bed..
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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