I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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