I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
