Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
