Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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