just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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