yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
