just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
