White coat. Heels.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize