you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
