It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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