it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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