you guys were way drunker than both of me
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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