people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
