I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
