last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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