i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It's shark week go big or go home
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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