he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
