Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
