Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.

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  (646): Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister. http://tfl.nu/1b2r
  Replies (15) Good night (555) Bad night (4020)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.

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  (416): Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism. http://tfl.nu/ra36
  Replies (12) Good night (1414) Bad night (2785)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.

  (214): View more from Texas

  It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.

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  (903): I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls. (214): It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep. http://tfl.nu/5v3w
  Replies (17) Good night (4989) Bad night (794)
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  (347): View more from New York

  we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this

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  (347): we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this http://tfl.nu/0jv4
  Replies (30) Good night (5189) Bad night (558)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober

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  (717): you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober http://tfl.nu/nwgl
  Replies (10) Good night (4983) Bad night (619)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.

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  (734): airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american. http://tfl.nu/pd31
  Replies (11) Good night (3104) Bad night (609)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch

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  (678): My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch http://tfl.nu/nghk
  Replies (11) Good night (3633) Bad night (1303)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.

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  (843): Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat. http://tfl.nu/tf28
  Replies (7) Good night (1340) Bad night (3469)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.

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  (260): just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead. http://tfl.nu/smv5
  Replies (20) Good night (3403) Bad night (1050)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon

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  (708): I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon http://tfl.nu/l3g6
  Replies (2) Good night (1106) Bad night (533)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?

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  (251): When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail? http://tfl.nu/evev
  Replies (7) Good night (2774) Bad night (762)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Love me.

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just for one nugget?

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  (508): Love me. (781): GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS. (508): Just for one nugget? http://tfl.nu/9y03
  Replies (6) Good night (2714) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.

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  (801): You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever. http://tfl.nu/fwv4
  Replies (5) Good night (329) Bad night (675)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.

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  (304): We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/lf7j
  Replies (7) Good night (556) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.

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  (647): right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind. http://tfl.nu/6tql
  Replies (3) Good night (308) Bad night (181)

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