I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month