Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.

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  (415): Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel. http://tfl.nu/yxi6
  Replies (7) Good night (913) Bad night (540)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one

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  (405): so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one http://tfl.nu/mfz0
  Replies (46) Good night (988) Bad night (5069)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.

  (214): View more from Texas

  It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.

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  (903): I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls. (214): It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep. http://tfl.nu/5v3w
  Replies (17) Good night (5106) Bad night (887)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone

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  (321): Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone http://tfl.nu/v4em
  Replies (29) Good night (788) Bad night (4030)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making

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  (609): The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making http://tfl.nu/k24g
  Replies (4) Good night (4601) Bad night (891)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.

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  (403): I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night. http://tfl.nu/12y8
  Replies (9) Good night (6058) Bad night (1222)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.

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  (416): Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment. http://tfl.nu/mdg4
  Replies (9) Good night (8360) Bad night (1054)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.

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  (712): in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am. http://tfl.nu/pxzm
  Replies (5) Good night (2589) Bad night (1156)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.

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  (857): Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much. http://tfl.nu/89i4
  Replies (0) Good night (889) Bad night (410)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.

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  (910): 6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class. http://tfl.nu/7ju6
  Replies (2) Good night (895) Bad night (449)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon

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  (219): Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon http://tfl.nu/lp84
  Replies (7) Good night (1229) Bad night (446)
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  (530): View more from California

  hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back

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  (530): hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back http://tfl.nu/8xnm
  Replies (1) Good night (665) Bad night (302)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.

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  (716): I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications. http://tfl.nu/oxv6
  Replies (3) Good night (348) Bad night (525)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...

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  (905): i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head... http://tfl.nu/72nr
  Replies (1) Good night (607) Bad night (276)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.

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  (845): Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus. http://tfl.nu/x306
  Replies (0) Good night (423) Bad night (923)

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