lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
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