Texts From Last Night

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  (478): View more from Georgia

  This is not my ceiling

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  (478): This is not my ceiling http://tfl.nu/p46e
  Replies (11) Good night (1933) Bad night (741)
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  (925): View more from California

  just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.

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  (925): just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win. http://tfl.nu/n1uf
  Replies (14) Good night (2747) Bad night (985)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee

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  (248): Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee http://tfl.nu/hv9p
  Replies (3) Good night (698) Bad night (2492)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.

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  (201): my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums. http://tfl.nu/0487
  Replies (37) Good night (7552) Bad night (1699)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm

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  (248): I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm http://tfl.nu/t2ln
  Replies (105) Good night (9207) Bad night (1370)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?

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  (215): How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers? http://tfl.nu/g3e9
  Replies (44) Good night (7240) Bad night (1269)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.

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  (571): you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were. http://tfl.nu/2fw7
  Replies (5) Good night (2466) Bad night (935)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING

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  (313): I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING http://tfl.nu/0fad
  Replies (5) Good night (961) Bad night (2846)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird

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  (312): I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird http://tfl.nu/vra1
  Replies (3) Good night (1443) Bad night (656)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.

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  (360): I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been. http://tfl.nu/46nz
  Replies (3) Good night (877) Bad night (562)
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  (619): View more from California

  Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.

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  (619): Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming. http://tfl.nu/68ul
  Replies (4) Good night (885) Bad night (506)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions

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  (979): Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions http://tfl.nu/nh9u
  Replies (4) Good night (360) Bad night (536)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"

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  (214): Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff" http://tfl.nu/duty
  Replies (1) Good night (603) Bad night (349)
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  (209): View more from California

  I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.

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  (209): I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night. http://tfl.nu/48e5
  Replies (0) Good night (334) Bad night (421)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet

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  (602): I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet http://tfl.nu/4kp3
  Replies (6) Good night (462) Bad night (168)

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