the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?