We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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