you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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