peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
