my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize