Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
